omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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