I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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