I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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