He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
