Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
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