I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
