Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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