When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
