Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
