I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
