Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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