Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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