I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
