Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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