i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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