He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
