I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize