allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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