Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
how does that bad decision feel?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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