I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
