some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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