at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
