Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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