I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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