PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Who put my cat in the fridge?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
