come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
