How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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