Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
