people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
