You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
