I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
