I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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