Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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