Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I have fence marks all over my body
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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