thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
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Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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