she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
