Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
