When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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