And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
