Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
