I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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