Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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