That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
