honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
