yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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