but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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