I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
