Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
