just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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