my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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