that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
