Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
