Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
