I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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