dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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