i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
