Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
