Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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