I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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