yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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