This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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