Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
