I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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